Three Ways to Shape Your Child's Heart Toward Generosity
As my seven, twelve, and fifteen-year-old strolled back to the cashier, who had graciously spent a few extra minutes to help me with a discount item, my heart beat in rapid rhythms. The anticipation of generosity quite possibly supersedes the gift itself.
They waited patiently for her attention. As soon as she finished with another customer, the weary, grey haired woman accepted the offered gift card—a tiny token to communicate appreciation. My eyes recorded her hugs to each child and her expression exuded one of pure joy and surprise.
“Bless you,” she whispered to the kids one by one.
We exited the store together while happy tears formed.
“Are you crying, mom?” My son asked.
“Yes, sweetheart,” I said softly. “You see, generosity is always a reciprocal gift.”
There is no better time to begin shaping your child’s heart for generosity than now. The holiday season ushers us into the spirit of giving like none other, yet it’s threatened by our desires to get. We all feel the tension.
So, as parents, how can we model generosity as a family at this time of year and beyond? Here are three ways I’ve found helpful to do just that, along with some resources to get you started.
Decide how you can serve as a family at Christmas.
Of course you can choose more than one way, and perhaps you are already on the ball in this category. Take a moment to walk through the best way for your family to see the needs around you and step in to help with a gift, a word of encouragement, or simply a reminder that you care.
Make and deliver homemade gifts for neighbors - baked goods, homemade crafts, or candles are some great ideas.
Select a boy/girl from Angel tree - Check your local library or mall for an opportunity to buy gifts for a child in need. We love to buy for a child in the same age range as each of my own children.
Give your kids $20 each to use for someone else - If you want your children to be looking for a myriad of ways to serve all month long, consider giving them $20 to help meet one or multiple needs.
Adopt a family in need - Is there a family you can adopt for the holidays? Consider buying grocery bags to leave at their doorstep, or request their wish list and provide gifts for the kids that year.
Write Christmas cards of thanks and appreciation for our first responders/ military - add some cookies with it and deliver in person or ship your package to someone you know serves.
Bundle up toiletries and deliver to a nursing home or assisted living community nearby - call first, but they are always looking for visitors and tokens to remember they are not forgotten.
Put $5-$10 gift cards randomly on strangers cars in a parking lot - imagine their delight when they return!
Put out a basket or wagon of snacks and drinks to say thank you to the Fed Ex/ UPS delivery men and women to work so hard this time of year! WATCH THIS REEL and look at my friend’s wagon to be inspired!
Give a generous tip - the next time you eat out as a family, surprise your waiter/waitress with an extra blessing. Be sure to talk about it as a family so your children have the opportunity to participate.
Draw names in the family and have your children use their own money to buy the gift - our children love this every year and it’s an equal blessing on both sides.
2. Remember gratitude is what fuels generosity.
Don’t stop talking about the gifts you’ve been given. Just because Thanksgiving is behind us doesn’t mean that giving thanks ceases. In fact, gratitude is what fuels generosity because once we realize what we have been given, we are more willing to serve and give to those around us.
As a parent, I’ve noticed that one constant conversation around our home involves acknowledging what causes discontentment in our hearts. Grumbling and complaints do not stop just because its Christmas. In fact, if we are honest, sometimes as parents we dread hearing what all of their “friends” received at Christmas in fear that it will overshadow your own gift giving. So, start the conversations now.
Instead of focusing on what is different in the name of comparison, ask: how can we be happy for our friends or siblings?
Set the scene now to help manage unrealistic expectations and minimize disappointment. Conversations are crucial.
As you notice hints of entitlement creep up (as they do in all of us!), look for opportunities to give them a job around the house, whether it be in serving or creating gifts for others. When their hands are busy and they feel a sense of mission and purpose, their hearts are less likely to be focused on themselves. Ask me how I know.
3. Continue to lead them in the knowledge of who God is in the person of Jesus.
Why does Jesus matter? Jesus could have come full of entitlement to his rightful place as King, demanding respect, yet he came to serve. Serving requires humility, and there is no better model than watching the way his hands and feet served. He provided food for the hungry. He looked into the eyes of those who felt invisible. He filled cisterns, wells, and hearts of those who lived empty.
So, how can you keep his example in focus this holiday season?
Keep the manger scene front and center in your home. This helps our eyes focus on the ultimate gift, the rescue plan God unfolded so that you and I can be whole, healed, and loved fully.
Remind yourself that Jesus not only represents a servant, he represents a suffering servant. Giving is costly. It requires time, energy, and resources. Remember the benefit far outweighs the cost.
Advent devotions tangibly usher our hearts and minds to focus on the person of Jesus, as well as how the story of Christmas evolved. Don’t get distracted on the ‘keeping up’ and ‘checking off boxes’ aspect of advent. Prioritize a reading, a carol, or an activity that is centered around the Bible.
If you need to be reminded about what Advent is or need some resources, VISIT THIS POST. It’s never ever too late. Or consider reading through Luke 2 and be amazed at the wonders of his love.
Pray about opportunities to serve and give. When we pray, our eyes are opened and ears more in tune to the needs around us. Let His spirit lead you today in new and fresh ways.
In closing, be encouraged friends. Many of us may struggle to give of our resources of time, energy, and resources because we feel limited in capacity. I get that. This is a harder year financially than most as inflation rises and markets crumble.
Remember as you are faithful to give and serve, especially at Christmas, you can be confident that “my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19 ESV).”
It is what Christmas is all about: the reminder that our faithful God, indeed, keeps His promises. Now, go. Give. Serve. Love.
Other Resources To Help On Your Way
Light ‘Em Up: 100 Ways to Light Up Your Community at Christmas
Light ‘Em Up: Gift Tags
Light' ‘Em Up: Family Planning Sheet